Luke

Tonight as I lay my fingers on the keypad, memories flood my mind and emotions run through my heart. See, today my nephew Luke would have been 23. Two years ago today we surrounded him with singing, cheering, laughing, and watched him blow out birthday candles for his 21st. At that moment the thought never crossed my mind that it could be the last birthday we would celebrate WITH him. Long story short, Luke had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, its a disease that attacks the muscles (takes away your ability to walk, feed yourself, and eventually can take your ability to breath on your own, or take your heart beat). Did having this disease make life a little harder on Luke? Yes. Did it make him getting a simple cold a little more threatening? Yes. But to be honest, Luke was doing better then he had ever been, and he was living on his own with help from caregivers. He was living life better then anyone I have heard of that had the same disease. Its like he had starred the disease in the face and said "I dare you"! He was and is still one of the most courageous people I have ever known. He faced death in the face and told it to jump off a cliff! He knew that it was only up to God when it was his time to go. Luke and I shared a special relationship as I was his aunt, but really we grew up together. My sister Misty is 19 years older then me and had Luke when I was only 3 years old, so Luke and I grew up more like brother and sister. I can still remember like it was yesterday playing with him, getting into trouble, and walking around the homestead with him (before the wheelchair). We laughed, played house, ate to much candy...you know, all the normal little kid stuff! As Luke got older the doctors continued to tell us his life would only get harder/could end. They said he probably wouldn't graduate high school (puberty tends to send the disease in over drive) and Luke took all that news with grace and pushed forward. He graduated high school ( a memory I will never forget as he had my throw his cap up in the air when the rest of his class did)and continued to push forward with life. As he grew up into the amazing young man he was our relationship only got richer. We started talking about real life stuff and journeying life together as adults. Him and I would often get lost in conversations about God, our crazy family, and really anything else that would come up. I could sit on his couch and just listen to his dreams for his life for hours. He knew what he wanted and he wasn't afraid to fight for it (something he was use to do doing with his life-fighting for it). Anytime Luke ended up in the hospital I would make the drive, no matter how many days he was there. I would always greet him with a kiss on the forehead (he would act like he hated it, but really he loved it) and we would talk like he wasn't laying in a hospital bed. I will never forget the sweet times of prayer we shared as he always asked me to pray over him before I left the hospital. Luke loved God and that was just another special thing we shared! Luke could make me laugh till my sides hurt and yet could make me cry with his deep sensitivity towards life and love. His love for life was contagious, his smile would light up a room, and his sense of humor could make anyone laugh. I miss him so much it hurts...I wish he were here, only a text or phone call away. There have been so many things that have happened since his passing that I've wanted to share with him...joys and sorrows. I go from missing him so much it hurts and all I can do is cry, to overflowing with joy as I know he is with God (no better place to be right). Since today was his birthday I celebrated by eating a cheeseburger and fries (a tradition of the families) and thanking God for the gift of Luke. I found myself thanking God for all the memories, laughs, and tears Luke and I shared. I cried out to God as my heart hurts..but really its a good sign! I thanked God for the love Luke and I shared for one another...for it to hurt means it meant something, it was important. I will never stop thanking God for Luke, having him in my life, the memories I have, and the pain that is left now that he is gone. *Father God, you are soo good, even in the midst of sorrow. Thank you for life, for Luke, for the amazing man you created him to be. Thank you for placing him in my life and blessing us with the awesome relationship we had. I feel your strong and loving arms surrounding me as I grieve, thank you. Thanks for listening to me as I cry out to you, for capturing each tear that falls of my face, and for holding me in times I can not stand on my own. You, Abba Father, are AMAZING! I am in awe! You want to share in our joys and in our sadness and for that I am great full. You love for us is beyond comprehension. I love you Daddy!